All posts tagged Fun!

Necessary Punctuation Marks! :)

8 New Punctuation Marks - Image 10

 

 

8 New Punctuation Marks We Desperately Need - Image 10

 

 

8 New Punctuation Marks - Image 10

 

 

8 New and Necessary Punctuation Marks - Image 1

 

 

8 New and Necessary Punctuation Marks - Image 1

 

 

8 New and Necessary Punctuation Marks - Image 1

 

 

8 New and Necessary Punctuation Marks - Image 1

 

 

8 New and Necessary Punctuation Marks - Image 1

 

Want to use these punctuation marks? Click here to download the CollegeHumor Punctuation font and get access to all of them.

The Power of Simple Words, Animated

by 

Getting from “no coordinates exist like one’s domicile” to “there’s no place like home.”

“Use the right word, not its second cousin,” Mark Twain admonished. “Use short words, short sentences and short paragraphs,” David Ogilvy advised.

Last week, my friends at TED launchedTED-Ed — a wonderful new series of short animated videos for high school students and lifelong learners, using visual storytelling to deliver compelling messages in equally compelling ways. To kick off, this lovely video by copywriter Terin Izil, animated by the one and only Sunni Brown (remember her?), makes an appropriately succinct case for using simple words and brevity in writing, in just two minutes.

 

 

“Variety may be the spice of life, but brevity is its bread and butter. So when it comes to $10 words, save your money and buy a Scrabble board.”

Then again, even E.B. White — the quintessential champion of brevity — felt compelled to play devil’s advocate against brevity for brevity’s sake:

“Writing is not an exercise in excision, it’s a journey into sound. How about ‘tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow’? One tomorrow would suffice, but it’s the other two that have made the thing immortal.”

SOURCE: http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2012/03/20/the-power-of-simple-words-ted-ed/

Jokes about writing….

 

A visitor to a certain college paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall that had been built on campus.
“It’s a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway,” he said.
“Actually,” said his guide, “it’s named for Joshua Hemingway. No relation.”
The visitor was astonished. “Was Joshua Hemingway a writer, also?”
“Yes, indeed,” said his guide. “He wrote a check.”

________________________________________________________________

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. “In English,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.”

A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”


A writer died and was given the option of going to heaven or hell.

She decided to check out each place first. As the writer descended into the fiery pits, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes.

“Oh my,” said the writer. “Let me see heaven now.”

A few moments later, as she ascended into heaven, she saw rows of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes.

“Wait a minute,” said the writer. “This is just as bad as hell!”

“Oh no, it’s not,” replied an unseen voice. “Here, your work gets published.”


There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.

When asked to define great, he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!”

He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

A screenwriter comes home to a burned down house. His sobbing and slightly-singed wife is standing outside. “What happened, honey?” the man asks.

“Oh, John, it was terrible,” she weeps. “I was cooking, the phone rang. It was your agent. Because I was on the phone, I didn’t notice the stove was on fire. It went up in second. Everything is gone. I nearly didn’t make it out of the house. Poor Fluffy is–”

“Wait, wait. Back up a minute,” The man says. “My agent called?”

How many science fiction writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two, but it’s actually the same person doing it. He went back in time and met himself in the doorway and then the first one sat on the other one’s shoulder so that they were able to reach it. Then a major time paradox occurred and the entire room, light bulb, changer and all was blown out of existence. They co-existed in a parallel universe, though.

How many publishers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three. One to screw it in. Two to hold down the author.

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two.  One to screw it almost all the way in, and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.

How many screenwriters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Why does it *have* to be changed?

How many cover blurb writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A VAST AND TEEMING HORDE STRETCHING FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA!!!!

How many screenwriters does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer:  Ten.
1st draft.  Hero changes light bulb.
2nd draft.  Villain changes light bulb.
3rd draft.  Hero stops villain from changing light bulb.  Villain falls to death.
4th draft.  Lose the light bulb.
5th draft.  Light bulb back in.  Fluorescent instead of tungsten.
6th draft.  Villain breaks bulb, uses it to kill hero’s mentor.
7th draft.  Fluorescent not working.  Back to tungsten.
8th draft.  Hero forces villain to eat light bulb.
9th draft.  Hero laments loss of light bulb.  Doesn’t change it.
10th draft.  Hero changes light bulb.

————————————————————

Punctuation Parable

Dear John,

I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior.
You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we’re apart. I can be forever happy – will you let me be yours?

Gloria

Dear John,

I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior.
You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we’re apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?

Yours,

Gloria

_________________________________________________________________

How to Write Good

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.

2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.

3. Employ the vernacular.

4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

6. Remember to never split an infinitive.

7. Contractions aren’t necessary.

8. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

9. One should never generalize.

10. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”

11. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

12. Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.

13. Be more or less specific.

14. Understatement is always best.

15. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

16. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

17. The passive voice is to be avoided.

18. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

19. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

20. Who needs rhetorical questions?

21. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

22. Don’t never use a double negation.

23. capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with point

24. Do not put statements in the negative form.

25. Verbs have to agree with their subjects.

26. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.

27. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.

28. A writer must not shift your point of view.

29. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)

30. Don’t overuse exclamation marks!!

31. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to the irantecedents.

32. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.

33. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.

34. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.

35. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

36. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.

37. Always pick on the correct idiom.

38. The adverb always follows the verb.

39. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; They’re old hat; seek viable alternatives.

_____________________________________________________________

Ode to the Spell Check

Eye halve a spelling chequer

It cam with my pea sea

It plainly marques four my revue

Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word

And weight four it two say

Weather eye am wrong oar write

It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid

It nose bee fore two long

And eye can put the error rite

Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it

I am shore your pleased two no

Its letter perfect awl the weigh

My chequer tolled me sew!

 

SOURCE :

http://www19.homepage.villanova.edu/karyn.hollis/prof_academic/Courses/common_files/jokes_about_writing.htm

TGIF !

This one reminded me of my cat Oreo (my lovely firstborn!).  If I can’t find any readers for my novel, I am sure he’s up to the task 🙂

New 24 Hour Writing Challenge from CBC

Announcing the Namedropping Nonfiction Challenge

 

Do you know who your friends are? On Thursday, January 26th, Canada Writes is launching a new, 24-hour writing challenge — and it’s all about the true stories you choose to make public.
Do you always have the right to tell your true story — even if it involves someone else? 

This Thursday, we’ll be asking you to address this question in a 24-hour writing challenge, and we’re giving away an iPod Touch for the best story.

The Namedropping Nonfiction Challenge will get to the root of what we’ve been exploring over the last weeks on Canada Writes, leading up to the deadline for the CBC Creative Nonfiction Prize: the notion of making private stories public, and implicating real people in the true stories that writers choose to tell.

So what’s the challenge?
We want you to write a true story about a real person in your life — could be a friend, family member, co-worker, etc. — and use their name in the story. The kind of story you tell is up to you. Could be funny, poignant, lighthearted or downright devastating.
But that’s not all. We want to play a little with your boundaries and see how public you’re willing to go with your entry. So once you e-mail your entry to us, we invite you to use social media to share your story with your friends and the Canada Writes community.
Here’s what we’ll be asking you to do:

1. In 100 words or less, write a true story that involves someone in your life, and use that person’s name in your story. It could be a family member, a friend, a teacher, anyone — but the person must still be living.
2. Submit the story to us through our entry form (instructions to come when the challenge opens).
And then, if you’re game, we invite you to share the story online using Facebook. Here are some things you can do:

Mild: Post the story on the Canada Writes Facebook Wall. (And like us for tips, updates and other goodies.)
 

Medium: Post the story as a status update on your own Facebook wall, tagging the Canada Writes Facebook page in your post so we can see and track your entry. (See below for instructions on tagging.)

Spicy: Post the story via Facebook (either on our wall or on your own) and tag both the Canada Writes Facebook page and the person you’re namedropping, too. But be sure to get their permission first! Canada Writes does not assume any responsibility for the content you may tag, post or otherwise use for this activity.
An example of a spicy post:
image-facebookchallenge.jpg

So, whose story will you be brave enough to tell? Get writing, Canada!

You can enter as many times as you like (but you must namedrop someone different each time.
The 24-hour Namedropping Nonfiction Challenge opens on Thursday, January 26 at 10 a.m. ET and closes at 10 a.m on Friday, January 27.

***CHECK BACK HERE FOR MY ENTRY TOMORROW AT 10 AM.
🙂

The Joy of Books!

Check out this video!   For Book Nerds everywhere!