In honour of this special occasion, I want to share this funny article with you 🙂
“How to Date a Writer” By Heather O’Neill
The following apply to moi –
- Be eccentric. Writers are impressed by silly things. Remember their original loves were characters in novels. Act like a fallen aristocrat, or be impossibly whimsical like the Mad Hatter, or whine like a petulant Holden Caulfield and they will adore you.
- Be prepared to turn up in fiction. You might find yourself portrayed as a 1920’s fop who forges paintings for a living. You might find yourself seducing and ruining the life of a chorus girl who is a fragile violet. And then you will read pages analyzing your wickedness and moral shortcomings.
- Don’t interrupt them at their work. If you find them in the kitchen dressed in underwear leafing through the a book of photographs while butting out a cigarette in a bowl of ice cream, you must treat this scene with the utmost respect. As if you had just walked in on a surgeon in the middle of open heart surgery.
- Don’t yell at them for daydreaming. If you date a writer, you will sometimes think that they have suffered brain damage. You will bring them to your cousin’s wedding and they will spend the whole time staring at a styrofoam bird on a cake. Many writers were picked on as children. Why? Because they were weird from the get-go. They were often to be found at the back of the class smelling erasers, or talking to caterpillars, or walking down the street with an encyclopedia balanced on their head. They cannot help it.
- When they are on a roll, they will ignore you for days on end.
- All this said, if you have the chance of dating a writer, by all means, take it! Take it! They can find more ways to say I love you than any other people on the planet. And imagine the Valentine Day poems you will receive!